I’m one of those people. The ones who leave their decorations up past Three Kings Day. I like to keep the spirit of Christmas alive well into January. And while I typically get sentimental when it’s time to take everything down, this year was much harder than usual to say goodbye.
It was a few days after New Year’s. I was in the bathroom doing my pre-bedtime routine: floss, brush, moisturizer, and pee. Then, like an RKO to the nervous system — out of nowhere — I found myself sitting on the ol’ gutbucket, getting teary about packing away my Christmas decorations for the season.
During the holiday break, I had time to collect my thoughts, eat some cookies, and fully enjoy shimmery ornaments and kitschy decor.
Then, the calendar flips and it’s back into the fray. It’s the whiplash of it all that’s the hell of it.
That’s life, though.
Millennia ago, we used to look at the dark of winter as a time to hibernate. Yule was the last hurrah before the coldest days of winter set in. Celebrations were meant to bring warm feelings to people within a shared community and remind you that everyone needed one another to survive.
From a cynical perspective, the old stories of Yule and Christmas had an undercurrent of, “Be nice to your neighbor. You might need their help if you want to make it through this winter. ” However, the more optimistic viewpoint encouraged everyone to gather ’round the fire and see the best in each other because each individual brings something special to the table, literally and figuratively. The spirit of the season encouraged us to think about the vital role each person plays in a given space and what we would miss without them there.
None of this explains the ugly crying jag I had in the shithouse. It could be perimenopause. Or that Christmas decor holds memories of people who are no longer here. It could simply be the acknowledgment of how quickly time passes. Or it could be a combo of all three.
Ghosts of Christmas Past
I wish I could just leave well enough alone, but I’m compelled to pick at the scab to try to get at what’s underneath.
The holiday season comes with a rush of feelings triggered by familiar cycles. It’s an internal clock that chimes based on a full trip around the sun. “The mind forgets, but the body remembers.”
We’re all like Scrooge, in a way. However, instead of the spirits visiting us all in one night, they waft in and out throughout the season. We meet ghosts of Christmas past through family ornaments on the tree. We look at the present around us right now. And we hope for more Christmases to come.
It’s a lot to take in from a philosophical perspective alongside all of the running around, buying gifts, and attempting to make everything “just so.” We step into shoes our parents once wore. Barring the inevitable family arguments at Christmas, they made the production of the holidays look all so effortless. As a kid, you weren’t looking for the seams to show. As an adult, there’s a greater appreciation for the magic of how loved ones still made the holidays sparkle, despite the pressure to do a lot with a little — be it time, money, or patience.
Beyond the sights of Christmas, there are the smells of cookies baking and the sound of familiar songs that start getting played immediately after Thanksgiving. Sure, some of us want to hide from the shrieking horror of Mariah Carey’s holiday high notes, but there’s the also the melancholy embrace of “Last Christmas” for those of us who do not celebrate WHAM!ageddon and willingly enter the hallowed halls of WHAM!halla. Life is too short to deny yourself the angelic vocals of George Michael.
And maybe that’s it: Life is too short.
You spend hours putting up the decorations that add a bit more color and whimsy to the bleak winter season. And then, in just a few short weeks, it’s time to take them down. That same winter chill remains. The stressful routines are still there, but the colorful lights and cheerful characters all go back into storage.
No wonder why some of us like to let the decorations hang around a little longer.
What’s Sucking the Joy Out of the Holidays?
In a period that mingles joy, wonder, mirth and even a bit of sadness, the holidays offer a refuge of reflection when things finally slow down. You kick back with some cinnamon tea and gingerbread cookies and think, “Shit. If only every day could be like this and it was all a little slower.”
It brings to mind Ralph Kramden’s speech at the end of The Honeymooners’ Christmas episode:
Everyone’s hustling some place. But they don’t hustle around Christmastime like they usually do. You know, they’re a little more friendlier… they bump into you, they laugh and they say, ‘Pardon me. Merry Christmas’… especially when it gets real close to Christmas night.
This year felt different, though. People, for the most part, weren’t very friendly. In fact, a lot of folks were downright shitty, rude, entitled, and combative in random, public spaces. I think it’s because everyone is cracking under the pressure of a number of things. The world is moving too fast and it’s hard to tell what’s real and what’s fake anymore. There’s unrest in all corners of the world. The cost of living continues to climb. People worry about their loved ones, their jobs, and their homes. Others live in fear of something that was once fairly straightforward, like opening an electric bill.
Overall, people seemed meaner and more self-absorbed this holiday season than in previous years.
It wasn’t just me seeing it. I chatted with a few other friends around town, all from wildly different industries and walks of life — from office work to social work to retail to food service. They saw it, too. The ancient Yuletide spirit of finding a light in the darkness felt harder to spot amidst dueling cellphone flashes, all competing against one another to provide “proof” of every moment instead of simply experiencing it.
Everywhere you turned, it felt like a pointed attempt to leverage a period traditionally reserved for softness and slowness to capitalize, cranking up the heat on the pressure cooker. It all felt unnecessarily overwhelming. Like there was a concerted effort to keep everyone on-edge, wondering if there would be coal in their stocking even though they’d been good all year. Nearly everyone I talked to felt that whiff of Dickensian-era angst: a muted undercurrent of struggle and loneliness, amplified by technology that was once heralded as something that would alleviate both.
Keep Christmas With You All Through the Year
Despite the army of Grinches attempting to dampen the holiday spirit, some people and places remained a hub of warmth, reflection, and joy.
There are some people who exude so much warmth that they naturally repel assholes. They’re a rare and real lot, so when you meet them, let them know how awesome they are and squish into every hug they offer. These folks tend the hearth of humanity year ’round, not just during the holiday season.
You know them when you see them. You walk into a neighborhood shop and wind up having a conversation with the person behind the register. Someone else walks in. They hear laughter and join the conversation. That’s how friendships and familiarity are built among people who would otherwise stay total strangers.
While we tend to think of reflection as a solitary act, it doesn’t have to be that way. Conversations with other people can hold up that same mirror, making someone else feel a little less alone and like they’re not the only one who’s experienced something similar or felt a certain way.
It’s not always that deep, though. You’re not going to bare your soul and form a close bond with some rando in the frozen food aisle. But sometimes, it’s just a simple interaction that makes you smile that can shift the vibe in a good way.
Whether you’re a Wawa devotee or a 7-11 aficionado, those seemingly small neighborhood fixtures feel like a piece of home and can be a year ’round source of wonder. It could be trying a new flavor of coffee, chatting with staff you already know, or bumping into regular customers who keep have the same routine as you. These are simple joys that keep the spark of living burning bright.
About a week after my Christmas decoration-sponsored cry-in on the crapper, I took a morning walk to the Wawa up the block. When I got there, some dude was kind enough to hold the door for me and say, “And here’s our next contestant… Come ONNNNNNN DOWN!” Seconds later, there was another guy at the ATM, yelling at it J.G. Wentworth- style: “It’s my money and I want it now!” I joked back with these two guys and the on-duty security guard.
Those brief, ten-second exchanges set the tone for my day. I walked home feeling a lot better than I did before I left my house. That energy carried over into my workday and well into the night.
Don’t underestimate the power that being yourself and putting your energy out there has on the world around you. And don’t let people try to stamp out that spark. Say the weird thing. Break into song in public. Life’s too short and time goes too quickly to operate under the premise that one, singular holiday season has a monopoly on joy. Sure, the lights are a little brighter around Christmas, but the world needs sparkle throughout the rest of the year. And if it’s not there, create it.
Photo credits:
- Nutcracker, Christmas village, and carousel: Author’s own
- Santa Claus ornament that looks suspiciously like Rip Taylor: Author’s own
- Gratuitous photo of Sammy and his colorful scarf framed by a wreath: Author’s own