Poop: The Great Equalizer

It’s funny the things that go through your head at 4:30 in the morning when you’ve been hit with a round of Atomic Hershey Squirts. It’s even funnier the things that go through your colon when you’re crapping your brains out in the early hours of dawn. Having been sacked with some intestinal bug that’s been going around, I (thankfully) awoke in the middle of the night ...

Centaurs: Hot or Not? Yay or Neigh?

This weekend, I was kicking back and watching TV with my boyfriend when a commercial featuring a showering centaur shilling for Old Spice popped on the tube. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06TBhGrzyN4] Asking a perfectly, normal, rational question, my significant other posed to me a conundrum stemming from the commercial regarding the implications of interspecial attraction and ensuing relations: “Do chicks find centaurs attractive?” I paused to think for a moment. I couldn’t ...

Junk Mail: The Penis Picture Epidemic

Members of the male persuasion, I ask you, why do some of you insist upon sending pictures of your penis to unsuspecting women online? Apparently, this epidemic has reached such proportions that even mens’ magazine GQ has taken the time to address that a gentleman should never email a picture of his penis. It’s probably not too far off before Hustler starts admonishing its readers ...