I Saw Netflix’s Motley Crue Biopic “The Dirt” Sober & Don’t Know WTF I Watched

There's nothing more disappointing than taking a bite out of what appears to be a freshly baked brownie and finding out it's really just a fat, steaming turd. Okay, most people (including me) haven't munched on a shit log. But I imagine it's similar to the level of bait-and-switch disappointment of having sat through Netflix's The Dirt, the movie based on Motley Crue's autobiographical tome ...

Objects I Have Been Hit In the Head With: A Platform Boot

I have a very thick skull. This can be said of me in both a literal and figurative sense. On numerous occasions, I've accidentally butted my boyfriend's head with my own. It barely registered with me, but sure gave him a headache. Consequentially, my boyfriend's pet name for me is "The Juggernaut," a nod to the musclebound villain of the X-Men franchise who wears an over-sized ...

Debating “Acceptable” Work Out Music

Lately, I've noticed an unprecedented level of pretentiousness concerning people and their exercise regimens. There are a disturbing amount of people who need a costume to ride a bike. If you're training for the Tour De France, I understand that it may be important to put on your little shorts and bright yellow Under Armour as you veer into traffic with total disregard for the rules ...

Shuffled Thoughts From the Playlist

This past week, I received word from back home that my favorite high school teacher was busted for marijuana possession. On one hand, it doesn’t surprise me as my former teacher was quite a free spirit, but on the other, it bugs me that small town cops have nothing better to do than shake down a 66-year-old man with a lighter and a dimebag. Although I ...