A Guide to Writing Bad Erotic Fiction

I've always had a love of words and genre-based fiction. One genre I haven't delved into is erotica. In the spirit of experimentation, I'm trying my sticky, cramped-up hand at it. But I don't want to write just any erotica. Certainly not the pablum peddled in best-sellers and most appreciated when read aloud by the late, great Gilbert Gottfried. Nope. I want to write bad ...