I Listened to David Lee Roth’s “Yankee Rose” On Repeat For An Hour

I’m low on time, patience, and inspiration. So, once again, I’ll be kicking it back to listening to the same song on repeat for an hour. With both summer and America’s 250th birthday on the horizon, I opted for a song that shimmers with patriotism, sung by a man who claims he was “vaccinated with a phonograph needle one summer break.” That’s right. I’m going to subject myself to a full hour of “Yankee Rose” by David Lee Roth.

But this time, there’s a catch: Instead of just listening to “Yankee Rose” on repeat, I will also be watching the music video and pounding out my thoughts in real-time. For the uninitiated, “Yankee Rose” might just be one of the greatest, most hilarious, and gloriously offensive clips of all time (by both today’s and 1986 standards). So, this one’s gonna be a doozy!

The last time I trotted out this tired ass concept, I’d taken a turn down “Sentimental Street”, allowing myself to ponder doomed relationships through the lens of Night Ranger. Previously, I’d recorded my spiraling thoughts while listening to “Bad Medicine” by Bon Jovi; Vin Diesel’s no-one-in-the-club pandemic-era single “Feel Like I Do”; and “Loyal,” Chris Brown’s romantic ode to gold-digging hoes. Rounding out the pack, I also went 19 rounds reflecting on life, death, and ska with The Mighty Mighty Bosstones’ “The Impression That I Get.”

Ready. Set…. But First, The Rules!

Before we add “Yankee Rose” to this list, let’s lay down a few rules first:

• Once the music starts, the clock starts running and cannot be stopped. This commitment requires strapping in for the full, hour-long ride of undiluted Dave.
• Snacks are allowed. Just grab a “Hot Dog and a Shake” or stop the “Ice Cream Man” while he’s passing by before things get underway. However, caution must be exercised, as snacks and beverages can present dangers of their own because….
• There are no bathroom breaks. It’s an hour. Suck it up and hold it back any pee or poo that wants to make a guest appearance.
• Post-production notes and fact-checking can be added afterwards, as can spelling and grammar checks. Otherwise, the writing you see here was furiously clacked out on a keyboard in real-time. God help us all.

Listening to “Yankee Rose”

“Yankee Rose” is a star-spangled tribute to the Statue of Liberty, penned by Diamond Dave and his then-guitarist, Steve Vai. It was the lead single off of David Lee Roth’s solo album, Eat ‘Em and Smile, and its release was timed to coincide with the 100th anniversary of the dedication of Lady Liberty in New York harbor.

Musically, the song is catchy, has a ton of memorable lyrical moments, and the musicianship is top notch. You’d expect nothing less of the supergroup that Roth had assembled for his solo band, featuring Vai on guitar, bass legend Billy Sheehan, and ace drummer Greg Bissonette.

It’s no secret that I love kitsch and comedy as much as I love ’80s metal. “Yankee Rose” fit the bill on all counts. The song is loaded with cheeky wordplay that blends Americana with a seemingly endless string of double entendres. And the video is…. Something else. You can watch the full, nearly 6-minute video of “Yankee Rose” here, complete with the original convenience store intro that would have Gen Alpha clenching their sphincters long before Dave utters the famous words: “Gimme a bottle of anything. And a glazed donut… TO GO!” However, for the purpose of this blog, we’re gonna stick with the official music video that forgoes that cultural touchstone.

Even without its introductory segment, the 3-minute, 45-second clip is loaded with tongue-waggling, suggestive motions with a giant inflatable microphone, and a whole lotta shakin’ going on with assless chaps. And while David Lee Roth is the undisputed king of mugging the camera, his entire band gives him a run for his money. Considering that Roth co-directed “Yankee Rose” alongside Pete Angelus, you know that mandate to ham it up probably came from DLR himself.

That said, Angelus is no slouch himself when it comes to scenery chewing. The co-director made a cameo appearance in the convenience store intro in the uncut version of “Yankee Rose,” tricked out as a leisure suit-clad “Fuhgeddaboutit!” type — chest hair on full blast while accompanied by two busty lasses. This would not be the first or last time Angelus collaborated with DLR. He’d also directed several Van Halen videos during the Roth years (such as “Hot For Teacher” and “Jump”), as well as some of Dave’s campiest solo videos, including “California Girls” and “Goin’ Crazy.” In the latter, Angelus reprises his role as the greasy goof from “Yankee Rose,” still sporting the same getup.

Alright. Now that we’ve gotten that historical overview and preamble over, let’s do this!

1st Listen

Here we go. You know this is gonna get weird when the intro features Dave having a conversation with Steve Vai’s talking guitar. It’s heavy on the schtick, but way cooler and more fun than Peter Frampton’s lame ass mouth guitar.

It’s dawned on me that while I’m typing on one screen and have the video going on a second one, I’ll periodically look over and get an eye full of DLR bending over or thrusting his batch into the screen. It reminds me of when I used to work next door to an abandoned parking lot. Every summer Wednesday, like clockwork, an amorous couple would meet up around 2pm to bone down surrounded by dirt and concrete. I’d look away from whatever project I was working on, just to adjust my eyes and gaze out the window for a bit. I’d wind up witnessing these two doing it wheelbarrow-style or standing up, wearing just t-shirts or tank tops like a pair of pornographic Winnie the Poohs. It was funny at first, but then it just felt really gross to be a mostly unwilling spectator to these recurring trysts.

To avoid similarly weird surprises, I’m gonna have to start typing like a court stenographer and give my full attention to Diamond Dave and his cohorts. Eyes on the screen, Cooper.

2nd Listen

I think I have the same magenta off-the-shoulder shirt as Dave. Cool.

Oh, lord. He just got a giant inflatable microphone erection.

And now he’s shaking his bumblebee spandex-clad ass in front of the camera. Welp… It’s better that I see it full-on than be caught by surprise.

Everyone on this stage is having the time of their lives. Well, damn! There’s a crowd here, too. I’m guessing — due to Dave’s myriad outfit changes — that they also wound up hearing “Yankee Rose” and watching Dave gyrate wildly for at least an hour or more. These are my people.

I wonder what possessed Dave to want to slide down the microphone like a stripper pole? This man has no shame. Good for him!

“Raise ’em up, baby! See who salutes. Here’s the national anthem.” I fully support “Yankee Rose” being adopted as our national anthem and sung before every sporting event and full public school day.

3rd Listen

Gonna focus on the music on this next one. Scratch that. Steve Vai’s insane eyebrows and O-faces in the intro have put the kibosh on that.

Is it “All you back room boys salute when her flag unfurls” or is it “bathroom boys”? I suppose either could work.

The hook on this is so damn catchy. The song goes through different movements. Like you’re having sex with the Statue of Liberty. (Yeah, that’s going to get me put on a watchlist.) But seriously. It’s got all the sex elements. You’ve got a steady beat, a recognizable riff that creates a throughline, steadily pulsing bass on the verses. It’s followed by a “call-and-response” chorus. Then, instead of going hard on the breakdown, it slows down to almost power ballad levels. Right before things wrap up, there are a few musical thrusts before erupting into a guitar-gasm and fading out.

You’re welcome.

4th Listen

I imagine Dave told everyone in the band to match his freaky energy on this one. Or at least try. It’s going to be hard to top that spinning back kick.

Dave’s just strutting across the stage like it’s his own personal version of “Hello, Dolly!” And this is where I present my long-held theory that David Lee Roth is the secret love child of Carol Channing and Norman Fell. Hello, Davey!

“A real state of independence / So pretty when her rockets glare.” You know, I think Dave intended this to sound like making uncomfortable overtures towards Lady Liberty.

Well, shit. Look at Billy Sheehan flinging his bass around his head like samurai sword. That takes some considerable upper body strength.

“I wanna get a little bit of apple PIE.” I love Dave’s emphasis on “PIE.” Because you know he means “poontang.”

This makes me want to be the asshole who yells “I wanna get a little bit of apple PIE” at the next Fourth of July potluck, just to see how badly it grosses people out, makes them abandon the line, and I get first dibs on BBQ ribs and the dessert table.

5th Listen

Dave is making a Shocked Pikachu face in the early moments of the video.

Has anyone ever noticed how much drummer Greg Bissonette looks like a skinny version of wrestler Brian Knobbs of The Nasty Boys?

Dave really loves thrusting microphones of various sizes at the camera. One minute, he’s fisting the camera with the handheld mic. The next, he’s fucking the bass drum with the giant inflatable mic. That’s beautiful.

Also, Bissonette doing the rapid-fire fills behind the kit while Dave’s porking the bass drum is a nice touch.

It lends a whole new meaning to “give some to the drummer.”

And I just noticed what a Jim Dandy of a necklace Billy Sheehan is wearing. That’s some Alexis Carrington–Colby Dynasty shit.

6th Listen

I feel surprisingly energetic despite only having had a couple sips of my blueberry iced coffee right now. Although that donut is laying rather heavy.

In light of that and my bum hip and knee, I certainly would not attempt a spin kick like ol’ Diamond Dave. This dude should have done a workout video. He’d have given Jane Fonda and Richard Simmons a jog for their money in the heyday of VHS aerobics.

And here we go with some DLRockette kicks. Now THAT is a frontman. His voice might not be among the all-time greats, but the guy puts on a helluva show.

That little kick-twirl with the knee and then a full on James Brown split a few moments later was pretty damn spectacular.

I really like the bass part at the 2:44 minute mark. The bass also gets some serious love around the 3-minute mark with a thumping rumble.

7th Listen

I’m only on my 7th listen and feeling winded just watching the band run amok onstage.

I never thought I’d hear the Statue of Liberty described as “The Original Good Time Girl,” but here we are. I think more kids would have paid attention in Civics class if teachers made an analogy that Lady Liberty was down to party. Kind of like Cher Horowitz’s immigrant speech in Clueless. 

“Nuthin’ like her in the whole world. Yeah!” Dave hitting that Lionel Richie lean with Billy Sheehan snuggling up behind him and both of them mugging the ever-loving shit out of the camera might be one of the most wholesome invitations for a threesome ever.

8th Listen

It dawned on me that the entire wardrobe for this video looks like it was culled from The Golden Girls episode where Dorothy, Rose, and Blanche go to a jazzercize class and the way-too-perky instructor gives herself a charley horse after going too hard on the whirlybirds.

I love how, despite the fact that there are some seriously talented musicians in this video, no one is taking themselves seriously at all.

David Lee Roth spin kicking the giant balloon — only to pop it and release even more smaller, rainbow-hued balloons — is like a beautiful metaphor. For what, I don’t know.

9th Listen

Well, damn. We’re over the halfway point. “Are you ready for the new sensation?” As ready as I’ll ever be, Dave.

I just noticed that the drum kit has electronic pads and another mounted drum behind him. I didn’t see them used in the video, but it’s an interesting setup.

Okay. Let’s sip some iced coffee.

Dave doing a “jacking off and thrusting” while singing, “Still proving that her flag’s still there” is what every museum tour guide should do to get people pumped for American history.

That had to be Director Diamond Dave (Triple D!) instructing Steve Vai to bend forward and play peekaboo between his legs with his guitar while the camera closes up on his ass. I’d be very proud of that if I were Steve Vai.

10th Listen

That donut-and-iced coffee on an empty stomach is starting to percolate.

I just noticed David Lee Roth is wearing what appears to be the ’80s version of UGGS, or at least some fuzzy boot in some shots.

Nope. He’s done another outfit change and he’s got slightly more “Sensible Shoes” with soft tan leather calf boots.

And at the 2 minute 58 second mark, DLR just thrusts his crotch into the camera. That was a study in angles since it was shot from underneath, giving you a full view of his bunch like you’re standing at the base of the Statue of Liberty.

Put that in your cinematography and suck it, Christopher Nolan.

11th Listen

Back to the music. I love this intro so much. The pulsing builds to a crescendo before it pops like the balloon at the end of the video to give way to a vivid display of notes and sound. Maybe that was the metaphor Dave and the other director was going for? [Post-production note: That “other director” was Pete Angelus. I had a brain fart.]

Or maybe it was a metaphor for an orgasm at the end of the song: the balloon pops and a bunch of other little balloons come floating out. It’s a balloon-gasm.

The group hump at the end of the video with Roth, Sheehan, and Vai mugging the shit out of the camera and Dave making a hyper horny “I’ve got a boner” face is just the cherry on top. What a freeze frame to close with!

12th Listen

I’m noticing Dave’s wearing a single, dangly earring that probably came as part of a matching set from the necklace Billy Sheehan has on.

It’s sweet when bandmates share jewelry together.

I wonder who has the other earring and if it came with a bracelet?

I’m on my 12th consecutive listen and still not sick of this song. It definitely makes you want to shimmy your shoulders and shake your ass in your seat. Just not too hard since I’ve sucked down about 20 ounces of iced coffee and haven’t had my morning dump yet. (I’m writing this as of 8:10am.)

Where the hell did that J.R. Ewing cowboy hat come from on Steve Vai at the 2 minute 47 second mark? That’s its one and only appearance. I’m guessing he was a Dallas guy and Dave and Billy were both Dynasty boys. I mean, it was the ’80s and nighttime soaps were all the rage.

I wonder which side Greg Bissonette was on? Maybe he was a Knotts Landing dude. Or (Brian) Knobbs Landing. Hmmm….

13th Listen

That Giant Inflatable Microphone Boner never gets old. And boy howdy, does Roth ever look like Norman Fell with a wolf cut when he does it. It’s like he just hit Jack Tripper with a zinger and was oh-so-pleased with himself before breaking the fourth wall.

Vai does some really cool fills near the end of the first verse right before the chorus. It echoes the “talking guitar” bit from the intro, but not quite as effects-laden.

I miss when bands used to throw themselves around the stage and hump their instruments. Sure, a lot of that was probably fueled by mountains of booger sugar, but way more fun to watch than some mopey fuck staring at their shoes.

Steve Vai thrusting the neck of his guitar between his legs while kneeling and mugging the camera is precisely the attitude we all need to embrace for summer 2026 and beyond.

14th Listen

Yep. That morning dump is going to be on deck soon. On deck. Not an upper decker.

I feel like Diamond Dave would appreciate this stream-of-consciousness rambling. I’d read his autobiography Crazy from the Heat years ago and it was similarly chaotic and incoherent.

I have to hand it to Dave and the other director for these camera angles. They really give a sense of action to things, even though it’s solely confined to a single stage platform.

And I just noticed the LED blinking lights switching from “David” to “Lee” to “Roth.”

Bright lights. City lights.

15th Listen

Jesus, I can’t believe I’m analyzing the stage setup now. The lights above the stage are the same exact colors as the feathers and face paint from DLR’s “restless native” look from the Eat ‘Em and Smile album cover — and his convenient store appearance in the uncut version of the video. Clever touch.

“No sad songs tonight. Something’s in the air.” Come to think of it, I don’t think David Lee Roth has ever written a sad song. Hell, it’s a stretch for him to write a song with lyrics that make sense if you’re not blasted on the devil’s dandruff.

Dave rising up from his split with an “Ahhhhh!” of refreshment — like he’d just popped the top on a Coca Cola can and taken his first sip after running a 5k — was also a subtle stroke of genius.

16th Listen

Oh, shit! Now I see Greg Bissonette playing the drum/gong behind him at the 28 second mark. Mystery solved!

Thinking about how this song might have gone over when re-introducing a newly restored Statue of Liberty back in 1986. Then again, knowing that most people don’t always listen to the lyrics of a song beyond the chorus, I think many of Dave’s double entendres might have gone over their heads. That’s a damn shame because this song is a full on celebration crammed into just 3 minutes and 45 seconds.

At around the 3 minute 28 second mark, Dave starts gyrating behind Steve Vai like one of the guys from Night at the Roxbury. I see him as more of a Chris Kattan than a Will Ferrell.

17th Listen

Damn. We’re on the last spin of “Yankee Rose.” After spending an hour in the company of this track, I want to get a petition together to make this our new national anthem. And instead of putting your hand over your heart when it’s sung, everyone must shake their asses or make thrusting motions.

Man, I love that “360 swing my guitar around my neck” that Steve Vai does. Almost as much as the spin-kick-into standing-eagle maneuver Dave does.

It’s amazing that no one threw out a hip or blew a rotator cuff in this video. The ’80s truly were magical times.

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Photo credits

• Header image — Colorful fireworks display: Photo by Arthur Chauvineau on Unsplash
• Photo of a star-spangled, red, white, and blue donut: Author’s own. (Not pictured: The massive bowel movement the author took after downing that donut and an extra large Dunkin blueberry iced coffee.)