There’s nothing quite like listening to a song and hearing something unexpected with repeat spins. I’m not just talking about the common mistake that people make by only listening to the chorus and missing some really big context clues on the verse that change the entire meaning of a song. No, I’m talking about hearing some (often intentionally) funny shit thrown in by the artist or engineers that rewards ardent listeners. Batten down the hatches and let me take you on a musical journey through five songs that harbor hidden gems if you know where to listen for them.
“Every Rose Has Its Thorn” – Bret Michaels’ heavy sigh
“Every bad boy has a soft side” and Poison’s “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” ranks up there as one of the most recognizable power ballads of all time. If you’ve ever poured your ass into a pair of ripped acid-washed jeans after 1988, there’s a good chance you’ve raised a lighter or cellphone to this song while swaying back and forth.
If you listen closely in the very beginning, right before the opening acoustic chords hit, lead singer Bret Michaels (Bert Miracles, if you’re nasty) heaves a ragged, exasperated sigh. For the uninitiated, this clues you in immediately that it’s taking every ounce of Mr. Miracles’ being to push past his heartbreak and sing you a song of lost love. It’s hard… But dag gummit, he’s gonna try. He might take a minute to weep into his bandana during C.C. DeVille’s guitar solo, but he’ll compose himself before the final verse and belt it out one more time on the chorus. Just for you.
The story behind the song is that Bret wrote it after phoning his then-girlfriend on a long, lonely night on the road — only to hear a man’s voice in her boudoir at 3am. The devastated frontman grabbed his guitar and headed to the motel’s laundry room to wash his spandex and compose a song that immortalized the feeling of having your heart put through the spin cycle of love by an unfaithful stripper.
You can listen to Bret sigh for yourself on the album version of the song. You can also see him do his best Scarlett-O’Hara-on-a-fainting-couch impersonation while exhaling in the video (that I’d skewered previously in another post) for “Every Rose Has Its Thorn.”
“Nutz On Ya Chin” – Eazy E tears a magazine
At 23 seconds into the classic diss track, “Nutz On Ya Chin,” Eazy E addresses his foes while tearing a page out of a magazine. He then explains his thought process and what he routinely does with said image:
Rappers want to diss
I’m glad to see ’em‘Cause I rip your fuckin’ face outta a magazineO.G gangsta lean
Now after I shit,
Your face wipes that ass clean
Hey, I’m not gonna judge. I, too, favor having a stack of quality reading material in the crapper. Although this song predates cellphones, I still share the former NWA rapper’s belief that nothing beats thumbing through a magazine while pinching a loaf. Granted, I’ve never had the displeasure of seeing someone I had a personal vendetta against cheesing at me from the pages of a magazine while unloading the goods. That said, I’d probably have a similar reaction and find myself struck with the urge to use their smug mug to wipe my keister in lieu of a fistful of Charmin.
Considering that Eazy E favored odd spellings — often swapping a “z” for an “s,” in such words as “nutz” and “eazy” — it’s no surprise he spent more time tearing up (and wiping with) magazines than reading them. This was most evident on his second and final solo album, Str8 off tha Streetz of Muthaphukkin Compton, released in 1995. The title alone lets you know that this album is going to piss off everyone who ever talked shit about Eazy and that every trick bitch who sat like a chump for the Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee can eat a hot one, too.
But maybe we’re being too quick to dismiss the late Eric Wright. Perhaps, Eazy E looked at the works of poet e.e. cummings (heh… “cummings”) with its lack of capitalization and unconventional line structure. Maybe E figured, “Hey, I gotta have a hook! This guy hates capital letters. So, I’m gonna own shoehorning ‘Z’s instead of ‘S’s into words.” I think we can all respect that. There’s a reason this guy was The Godfather of Gansta Rap.
“Who Will Save the Sane” – Type O Negative’s tribute to The Producers
On an album packed with songs that the band themselves deemed too depressing to play live, Type O Negative managed to squeak in a nod to comedy god Mel Brooks in the intro to “Who Will Save the Sane.” Nothing could be more on-brand for The Drab Four to squeeze some humor into a song about losing your grip on reality and the ensuing out pour of faux empathy by self-congratulatory bystanders.
If you listen closely, you can hear a man (possibly lead guitarist Kenny Hickey) yelling: “Two, three, kick, turn! Two, three, turn, kick!” This is a bastardization of a line from The Producers. In the original 1967 film, the line is spoken by actor Christopher Hewett (best known as TV’s Mr. Belvedere) in the role of flamboyantly egotistical choreographer Roger DeBris. Caught in a moment, DeBris envisions a troupe of showgirls dressed like saucy Fosse Nazi stormtroopers goose-stepping across the stage — all while marking the steps with “Two, three, kick, turn! Turn, turn, kick, turn!” (If you haven’t seen it, stop clutching your pearls and watch the movie. You’ll laugh.)
In “Who Will Save the Sane,” the line is tucked into the background over a keyboard riff that gives way to Peter Steele’s velvety basso profundo vocals. Steele, who struggled with his mental health for much of his life, rattles off clever lyrical wordplay that straddles the line between genius and insanity, lamenting the hypocrisy of those who pretend to care when they encounter someone who’s just a little “off” before casually flitting about their business. It’s one of the more maudlin, thought-provoking entries in this list, but worth a listen for the sharp lyrics and wry humor that buffers heavy subject matter.
“Super Freak” – Rick James slurps it up
Long before M.C. Hammer ripped off sampled its iconic riff, Rick James’ 1981 mega hit “Super Freak” told legions of groupies that you can touch this. And that. Oh, yeah. Especially that.
At approximately 2 minutes and 5 seconds into his tribute to a groupie so damn good that she makes Pamela Des Barres, Sweet Connie, and Cynthia Plastercaster look like rank amateurs, Rick James proclaims, “I’d really like to taste her” before making an exaggerated slurping noise like he’s diving face-first into a bowl of ramen. It’s a subtly risque moment in a song that was considered too suggestive for MTV back in the day. (In 2020, Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s “WAP” said “Hold my edible underwear-flavored beer.”)
There’s a whole lot of legendary crammed into “Super Freak.” From Rick James getting The Temptations to sing backup to an appearance by Soul Train dancer Cheryl Song (and her fabulous knee-length hair) in the video, “Super Freak” holds a special place in my heart and record collection as the first 45 my parents bought me when I was two years old. Most parents probably don’t want their toddlers running around the living room singing “She’s a very kinky girl” at top volume, but I also think most parents would prefer listening to a glittery, booger sugar-tooting Rick James at the height of his powers than being forced to endure episodes of that shrieking turd Caillou. The ’80s truly were a great time to be alive.
Besides, the song has one helluva bass groove.
“Got Your Money” – Ol’ Dirty Bastard expresses unconventional admiration for the female posterior
Speaking of songs with a great bass groove… Some men charm a woman by telling her she has beautiful eyes, luscious hair, or sensuous lips. But not Ol’ Dirty Bastard. No, sir! Dirty won’t be having that in this house.
In the first few seconds of “Got Your Money,” if you listen closely, you can hear the inimitable ODB murmuring: “Ohhhh, baby. Mmmh! I’d eat the shit from right out of ya ass.”
It’s a bold pickup line. On one hand, it could get you slapped. On the other, it could get your face slapped between two thick, juicy buns.
What makes this line even bolder was that “Got Yo’ Money” (featuring Kelis, whose “Milkshake” brings all the boys to the yard) was originally released in 1999, long before the sexual phenomenon of eating ass became relatively mainstream. (Or at least as socially acceptable as it can be to admit that you like digging out someone’s backdoor with your tongue.)
Right before the dawn of the millennium, no one was admitting to eating ass, let alone proclaiming that even a few stray poo peanuts wouldn’t be a deterrent against butt bronski-ing a prime piece of fudge tunnel. Yet, there was Ol’ Dirty Bastard — right on the front lines, proudly declaring that he was down to brown in 1999. You gotta admire that level of commitment. He was truly a man ahead of his time.
Ol’ Dirty also follows up the line by dedicating this song to “All the pretty girls of the world. And the ugly girls, too. ‘Cause to me you’re pretty anyway, baby.” That Dirty was a real one.
While you have to listen hard to hear ODB’s proclamation to a prospect’s posterior in the intro, “Got Your Money” is packed with quotable lines throughout that are clearly audible. He raps like a man possessed by the spirit of Fly Guy from I’m Gonna Git You Sucka, dropping choice lyrical bon mots — including more dumper-related lines like, “put your ass out and let me hold it tight.”
It’s impossible to not want to get up and shake your ass to this song. Even if you don’t want it to get eaten.
Image credits:
- Header image by SAIYED IRFAN A from Pixabay
- Photo of “Mothman Ate My Entire Ass at a Denny’s” makeup bag: Author’s own.
I never realized that in the TON song, that’s so fucking cool!