The Great Video Controversy: VH1 Denies Type O Negative

President Barack Obama should consider himself fortunate that VH1 did not tabulate the votes on November 6th, 2012. If so, there would have undoubtedly been some ballot box manipulation and abject partiality as displayed by the network's glaring denial of the people's choice where it concerned the "America's Hard 100" countdown. Over 34% of fans who voted on VH1's website cast their ballot for goth metal ...

Songs You Never Realized Just What They Were REALLY About

I've long maintained that as a culture, we are a people who listen only to the chorus and not the verse -- the real meat and potatoes of a song beyond the catchy refrain. That's all well and good when you're driving down the freeway singing "Now you're just somebody that I used to know" or "Yeah. / Uh-huh. You know what it is / ...

Not-So-Great Moments In ’80s Music Video Fashion History

Despite '80s fashion making a comeback in the 2010s, for every stunning floral blazer or peplum skirt that has reappeared, there are some fashion trends best left in moth balls.   Music videos of the 1980s serve as a fine guide as to what not to wear when attempting to choose a modern ensemble with an '80s flair.   Surprisingly, some of the best (or worst) examples ...

Objects I Have Been Hit In The Head With – Part 3 of 4

In an effort to become the blogosphere's Ken Burns of blunt-force head trauma, I present to you the third installment of "Objects I Have Been Hit in the Head With." Summer 1992 - A Baseball Bat The events here take place a little more than a year after I got beaned in the head with a door off its hinges. Things changed in that relatively short span ...

Van Halen Gets a Shitty “Tattoo”

In a recent installment, I ran down a list of unintentionally hilarious moments in hair metal history. At the time, I wrongly assumed that accidental humor was the sole proprietorship of rock videos made between 1985 and 1995. Now, it's 2012 and seminal pop metal band Van Halen not only resurrected David Lee Roth as their lead singer, but they've also brought back unintentional humor in ...

Objects I Have Been Hit In the Head With – Part 2 of 4

Welcome back for Part 2 of a four-part series on (as the title suggests) "Objects I Have Been Hit In the Head With." This next object made contact with my head a year and a half after the previous one (a vintage 1970s stacked heel boot). And believe you me, this next object was a good deal heavier and a lot scarier than being clobbered ...

Objects I Have Been Hit In the Head With – Part 1 of 4

I have a very thick skull. This can be said of me in both a literal and figurative sense. On numerous occasions, I've accidentally butted my boyfriend's head with my own. It barely registered with me, but sure gave him a headache. Consequentially, my boyfriend's pet name for me is "The Juggernaut," a nod to the musclebound villain of the X-Men franchise who wears an over-sized ...

Delightfully Dysfunctional Holiday Traditions

We all have our Christmas traditions. Not so surprisingly, many of these family traditions -- no matter where we come from, our ethnic backgrounds, or how old we may be -- are the same for a lot of us: Tree-trimming. Fighting. Boozing. Sometimes all at the same time. To bastardize Charles Dickens: "God help us. Every one." In our house, putting up the tree was put off ...

So You Want To Be a Rock Music Journalist?

Once upon a time, I used to be a music journalist. While I never lost my puppy-like enthusiasm for writing in general, my fervor for writing about music fizzled. Oddly enough, this was the thing that brought me to the dance.   Picture it: Late December back in '63... Scratch that. It was late December 2006, four years since I had graduated from Temple University with Honors and a ...

Unintentionally Hilarious Moments in Hair Metal Video History

I make no bones about the fact that I love the hair bands of the '80s. Yes, I know it's cheesy and "uncool" to claim allegiance to the memory of a time when dudes used more Aqua Net in a five-year span than I will use in a lifetime. Although I still find myself rokken to Dokken with greater frequency than most, sometimes, you can’t just ...