It’s Not Sexism. Your Gender-Swapped Remake Just Sucks.

Within the past decade, Hollywood has been whizzing on the viewing public with a steady, pungent, yellow stream of lukewarm remakes. Often dubbed "reboots" or "re-imaginings," the writers, producers, and whomever greenlights this hot garbage continue to underwhelm with their ability to take something that wasn't broke and attempt to "fix" it by passing off someone else's once-imaginative work as their own hackneyed reinterpretation. The latest ...

Sympathy for Cersei: Why Game of Thrones’ Bad Bitch Ain’t So Bad

You gotta hand it to Cersei Lannister. Between last year's season finale and this year's, Cersei went from rock bottom to the top of the heap. She ended last season having endured a traumatic naked "walk of shame" through the streets of King's Landing after being beaten and starved for an extended period of time... and given a terrible haircut. This season, Cersei (literally) put all of ...

5 Characters In Search of a Way Out of The Friend Zone

There comes a time in everyone's life where they find themselves falling for a friend. You think that the bond you share can be escalated to a deeper, more romantic level. Sometimes, you get the fairy tale. Other times, you hear the magic words: "I don’t want to ruin our friendship.” That's when your worst fears have been confirmed: You've been banished to the dark ...

Not Just Poop: Other Weird Things You Find Working in a Library

Philadelphia has its share of colorful characters who have a penchant for disturbing, yet hilarious antics. We can proudly lay claim to being the home of the Swiss Cheese Pervert and now we can look to nearby Bryn Mawr for our latest noteworthy miscreant: the guy who took a dump in his local library.  According to a cadre of librarians from around the country quoted by ...

The Death Box: A Non-Existent Product You’ll Love!

I'll be the first to admit that I've got my weird moments. I'll also probably be the last to judge you harshly for your own. Will I laugh? Oh, you betcha... But I won't judge. With that sentiment in mind, I recently read about a product called 21 Grams, a memory box that contains essential elements to remind a person of their deceased loved one. I ...

Cheez Doodles: The Legend of the Swiss Cheese Pervert

Updated June 2014: This blog post was originally published on March 25, 2009 -- five years before Philadelphia's Swiss Cheese Pervert escalated his activities and began driving around the region, flashing his cold cuts and asking unsuspecting women if they wouldn't mind watching him get his rocks off while he diddled himself with dairy.  The Swiss Cheese Pervert was eventually apprehended and plead guilty to indecent exposure and harassment ...

The Politics & Pressure of Prom

Imagine an event so magical and monumental that it involves months of planning and preparation. An event that promises an enchanted evening filled with romance, formal attire, dancing, multiple regrets, and a drain on your bank account.  If you think I'm talking about a wedding, think again. The prom has long held an important place in the high school landscape. (Umm... Carrie, anyone?) However, the importance ...

Perverted Pop Songs with Double-Standards

It's a tale old as time: Perfect pop princes reap the benefit of hit songs that, upon closer examination, would make you think twice about accepting a drink from them. By contrast, when metal bands like Steel Panther, GWAR, or The Mentors write blatantly and hilariously perverse songs, some listeners who aren't in on the joke wind up clutching their proverbial pearls. It's a vicious double ...

In Defense of Seth MacFarlane: Oscar Host

Everyone's a critic. Moreover, everyone's a critic with an overwhelming, virtually Victorian sense of propriety - particularly when it comes to those who host the Oscars. Seth MacFarlane, Family Guy creator and voice of trash-talking stuffed bear Ted, met with mixed reviews for his turn as emcee at the 85th Academy Awards on February 24, 2013. Critics derided MacFarlane's melange of crude humor and Old Hollywood ...

Three’s A Crowd, Especially On YouTube

Ah! The Internet! Not only has the World Wide Web made this world a little smaller, technology has also presented each of us with many an opportunity to say, "Thank God I'm not them." Case in point: The goof who decided to send a video introducing himself to his fiancée's best friend and broaching the delicate topic of having a three-way. And unwittingly posted it ...