Are Kolchak: The Night Stalker and Blade Runner Connected?

Carl Kolchak is my patron saint. Yes, I am well aware that he’s not real and just the title character of the occult-themed ‘70s TV show, Kolchak: The Night Stalker. There’s something comforting about his disheveled seersucker suit and equally disheveled approach to news writing. The comfort factor only doubles when you consider that Kolchak was played by Darrin McGavin — “The Old Man” himself from ...

2am Thoughts: The Legend of Scattin’ Sam

Laying awake at 2am in the dark, my mind drifted to thoughts of the upcoming Spring holidays, Easter and Passover. Both involve a visitation by a mystical entity: the Easter Bunny and the Angel of Death. One brings delightful baskets of candy to good little boys and girls. The other brings, well, death -- unless you've taken the precaution of smearing some lamb's blood over ...

The Road Behind: Thoughts on Supernatural’s Final Episode

The last episode of Supernatural, television's longest-running genre series, has finally aired and I don't know how I feel about it. Having watched from the beginning, it's tough to say goodbye to a show that was a fixture of my Thursday nights for nearly 15 years. Supernatural is one of those shows that, when you meet someone else who watches it and has just as ...

The Mind Forgets, But the Body Remembers

I got up to pee, squinting my eyes at the clock to see what time it was. It was 3am on September 3rd, 2020. Then it hit me. Shit. It was now officially 11 years since my father had passed. It was 11 years since I went to sleep after my last phone conversation with him the night before -- September 2nd, 2009 -- hearing fear in his voice ...

Beauty in Garbage

On my way to Wawa this morning, I walked past an empty bottle of Coors and a tied-up bag of dog turds lying next to each other on the sidewalk. And then a butterfly floated past. If that's not an image of hope -- that something beautiful can still happen, even if you've had shitty beer and a handful of dog doo -- I don't ...

A Letter to 11-Year-Old Me

Dear 11-year-old Lana, You're not gonna believe this shit, but this is Future Lana writing to you from the year 2020. Crazy, right? Speaking of crazy, that word doesn't even begin to describe this year. Remember how you were obsessed with and creeped out by that "In The Year 2525" song that Mom used to play on the Oldies channel? Welp, 2020 isn't quite that weird, but ...

Semi-Inspirational Quotes To Get You Through

Life's hard. Sometimes you need a bit of inspiration to get you through. I'm not talking about those bullshit inspirational quotes that appear in front of a stock image of a sunset: "Follow your bliss" or "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best." Or those alpha douchebag quotes that are almost always accompanied by a photo of a ...