Review: Marilyn Manson – WE ARE CHAOS

Listening to a new album by a favorite artist is like getting coffee with an old friend you haven't seen in a few years and hoping they haven't turned into a total cunt in the time that's elapsed. Sometimes, you pray for it to be over and find yourself content with the memories of a time gone past. And in some instances, you pick up ...

Why I’d Rather Be Dutch Ovened By Ernest Borgnine Than Morrissey

Filed under - Rejected Collegiate Essay Topics: In 500 words or more, defend your position as to why you would rather be Dutch Ovened by either Ernest Borgnine or Morrissey. You must pick one or the other and cannot say "neither." Give specific reasoning behind your choice, backed by either qualitative or quantitative evidence. You may also cite personal preference to be Dutch Ovened by one ...

I Saw Netflix’s Motley Crue Biopic “The Dirt” Sober & Don’t Know WTF I Watched

There's nothing more disappointing than taking a bite out of what appears to be a freshly baked brownie and finding out it's really just a fat, steaming turd. Okay, most people (including me) haven't munched on a shit log. But I imagine it's similar to the level of bait-and-switch disappointment of having sat through Netflix's The Dirt, the movie based on Motley Crue's autobiographical tome ...

9 Not-So-Great Expectations to Have as a Music Journalist

For all you aspiring writers, journalists, critics, or utility-player freelancers, let a jaded, (semi) old hand offer some advice as to what you can expect along your own journey. You may be expecting fame, fortune, glamour, free CDs, and press passes. Temper those expectations. I don’t want to scare you or deter you from your path… Just prepare you for what may lie ahead if you choose ...

7 Prince Songs That Will Make You Miss Him Even More

I wasn't dreaming when I wrote this -- but I wish I was. I'm not one for getting all verklempt when a celebrity dies. Yet, on Thursday April 21st, 2016, I found myself struggling not to cry at my desk when I heard that Prince died. At first, I thought, This has to be a false report. Some chucklehead is just running some death hoax since Prince ...

5 Songs That Prove Bob Seger Sings the Music of Regret

Some artists are known for common themes in their work: Degas painted ballerinas. Thomas Hardy colored his work with broad strokes of fatalism. And Bob Seger sings about regret. No matter what you regret in life, Bob Seger's got a song about it. Bummed about a one-night stand? Reflecting on your youth and how you squandered it? Not feeling the current musical landscape and yearning for ...

5 Unorthodox Life Lessons From Dad

I was lucky enough to have had a cool dad. A really cool dad. The kind of dad who would help you smuggle contraband rock albums into the house and help you hide them from Mom. The kind of dad who knew you couldn't afford action figures, so he'd make awesome, handmade paper dolls of your favorite cartoon characters. The kind of dad who made ...

Perverted Pop Songs with Double-Standards

It's a tale old as time: Perfect pop princes reap the benefit of hit songs that, upon closer examination, would make you think twice about accepting a drink from them. By contrast, when metal bands like Steel Panther, GWAR, or The Mentors write blatantly and hilariously perverse songs, some listeners who aren't in on the joke wind up clutching their proverbial pearls. It's a vicious double ...