A Misanthrope’s Guide to the Clean Girl Aesthetic

I keep seeing this Clean Girl aesthetic everywhere online, accompanied by a litany of Clean Girl “rules” to follow. I dunno. It sounds pretty insulting to everyone else. Like you’re just a Dirty Skank if you’re not a Clean Girl. Why not just call it, “Basic Bitch, Fresh Out of the Shower”? Essentially, the Clean Girl aesthetic takes the "no-makeup makeup look" to obnoxious levels, ...

In Defense of Halloween III: Season of the Witch

As a devout fan of the genre, I've often found myself defending some of my choices of horror movies. Despite being a "genre of the people," horror snobs sometimes sneer down their noses at certain flicks for one reason or another. One such film that gets a lot of flack is Halloween III: Season of the Witch.  Released in 1982, this unfairly maligned, redheaded stepchild of ...

The Ethics of AI

Disclaimer: This blog post was written by a living, breathing writer with years of experience honing their craft. But I'm sure some AI app is going to scrape this blog and attempt to recycle it elsewhere. Eat me.  In recent months, artificial intelligence (AI) and the ethics of its usage has become a hot topic among professionals and recreational dabblers alike. From Lensa AI generated art ...

It’s Not Sexism. Your Gender-Swapped Remake Just Sucks.

Within the past decade, Hollywood has been whizzing on the viewing public with a steady, pungent, yellow stream of lukewarm remakes. Often dubbed "reboots" or "re-imaginings," the writers, producers, and whomever greenlights this hot garbage continue to underwhelm with their ability to take something that wasn't broke and attempt to "fix" it by passing off someone else's once-imaginative work as their own hackneyed reinterpretation. The latest ...

Kotex U: A Party in Your Pants

There's a party in your pants! And Kotex says "U" are invited! For several decades, Kotex has been providing me with feminine hygeine products designed to staunch my menstrual flow. Ironically, they've also gifted me with steady stream of unintentional comedy through the years, too. The term "sanitary napkin" still makes me giggle with immaturity, usually because I think of a "napkin" as something I use ...

McDonald’s Premium Roast: Two Splendas, Extra Douche

I didn’t think it was possible, but Madison Avenue has given me someone else to hate even more than the FreeCreditReport.com douchebag.  Although my hatred of the “Credit Score Whore,” has waned and given way to a begrudging tolerance of his presence on my television screen, commercials following the one I had initially written about bore him out to be less of an opportunistic ass than ...

I hate you, FreeCreditReport.com Guy. I really hate you.

A certain series of commercials have really been chapping my ass as of late. Undoubtedly, you too have probably seen those FreeCreditReport.com commercials, replete with pithy jingles lauding the importance of checking that all-important credit score that determines just how often you shit, eat, get laid, etc. The star of these commercials is some Average Joe schlub with an accoustic guitar and oh-so fashionably shabby wardrobe ...