Love and Universal Monsters

Inside the beating heart of every horror fan is a closet romantic, armchair psychologist, or misanthrope with a glimmer of idealism left in their soul. While horror on the Silver Screen stretches back to silent film era, Universal Studios gave rise to "the monster" as a sympathetic -- and often tragically romantic -- figure. With Valentine's Day just around the corner, there's no better time ...

A Guide to Writing Bad Erotic Fiction

I've always had a love of words and genre-based fiction. One genre I haven't delved into is erotica. In the spirit of experimentation, I'm trying my sticky, cramped-up hand at it. But I don't want to write just any erotica. Certainly not the pablum peddled in best-sellers and most appreciated when read aloud by the late, great Gilbert Gottfried. Nope. I want to write bad ...

A Misanthrope’s Guide to the Clean Girl Aesthetic

I keep seeing this Clean Girl aesthetic everywhere online, accompanied by a litany of Clean Girl “rules” to follow. I dunno. It sounds pretty insulting to everyone else. Like you’re just a Dirty Skank if you’re not a Clean Girl. Why not just call it, “Basic Bitch, Fresh Out of the Shower”? Essentially, the Clean Girl aesthetic takes the "no-makeup makeup look" to obnoxious levels, ...

Requiem for Pee Wee Herman

I didn't know the late, great Paul Reubens personally, but like a lot of '80s and '90s kids, I'm count myself lucky that Pee Wee Herman was part of my childhood. When Paul Reubens passed away at the age of 70 on July 31st, 2023, the news came as a shock to countless fans and even some of his friends. He'd kept his six-year battle with ...

Fuck You, 2022!

Picture it: New Year's Eve. 2021. I was in the kitchen, attempting to slice up a baguette that had gotten unexpectedly rock hard. (Heh. That's what she said!) While sawing through the stubborn stick of bread, the serrated knife sliced through the tip of my pinky, unleashing a geyser of blood. I aborted the bread mission and angrily chucked it in the trash. Partly out ...

The Ethics of AI

Disclaimer: This blog post was written by a living, breathing writer with years of experience honing their craft. But I'm sure some AI app is going to scrape this blog and attempt to recycle it elsewhere. Eat me.  In recent months, artificial intelligence (AI) and the ethics of its usage has become a hot topic among professionals and recreational dabblers alike. From Lensa AI generated art ...

Is Rolling Stone Turning Tabloid Trash?

Once heralded as the pinnacle of music journalism, Rolling Stone appears to have become little more than a tabloid rag. Within the past year, Rolling Stone has published two high-profile stories where interviewees have claimed that their words were taken out of context in order to support a sensationalist narrative pedaled by the publication. In turn, it's potentially cast a shadow on the magazine's credibility. Rolling Stone's ...

A New Year’s Herring Sandwich For Luck

The last two years have been a real pisser, eh? Coming off another hard candy pandemic Christmas, feelings of weariness are mingled with a glimmer of cautious optimism. I'm still hopeful that 2022 has good things in store for all of us, if we're so inclined to look for a silver lining. That said, do you know what else has a silver lining? Pickled herring! Stay ...

Another Pandemic Christmas

In a 21-month period that's been a constant stream of anxiety, panic porn, and incessant carrot-dangling with regard to the promise of a return to normalcy, it would seem that the holiday season would offer a welcome respite from the 24-7 fuckery. Rather, the pressure to be cheerful, upbeat, and cling to tradition on top of feeling as if you're living in a prequel to ...

I Listened to “Loyal (West Coast Version)” by Chris Brown On Repeat For An Hour

A crisp autumn wind has blown across the East Coast, reminding me that my blog has lain dormant since the summer -- specifically, when I decided to compare and contrast breakfast sandwich offerings. I've been swinging between feeling uninspired and mentally berating myself for not even attempting to write. So, after scratching my ass for a topic to write about, I fell back on one of ...