We’re halfway through January, in that liminal space between continuing to go after New Year’s resolutions with the fervor of a horny teen (literally and figuratively) coming across his dad’s…
Gather ’round, children! It’s time for another heartwarming holiday tale of petty theft, lessons learned, and zero consequences for bad behavior. When I was in 5th and 6th grade, I…
Most fright fiends will happily give you a TED Talk about their favorite classic movie monster or have a Perry Mason-level defense prepared for the cinematic merit of Troma films….
Remember the heyday of shows like The Love Boat and Fantasy Island where unemployed stars of yesteryear would pop up in really random roles and even more bizarre scenarios on…
The last two years have been a real pisser, eh? Coming off another hard candy pandemic Christmas, feelings of weariness are mingled with a glimmer of cautious optimism. I’m still…
In a 21-month period that’s been a constant stream of anxiety, panic porn, and incessant carrot-dangling with regard to the promise of a return to normalcy, it would seem that…
The last episode of Supernatural, television’s longest-running genre series, has finally aired and I don’t know how I feel about it. Having watched from the beginning, it’s tough to say…
I got up to pee, squinting my eyes at the clock to see what time it was. It was 3am on September 3rd, 2020. Then it hit me. Shit. It…
Dear 11-year-old Lana, You’re not gonna believe this shit, but this is Future Lana writing to you from the year 2020. Crazy, right? Speaking of crazy, that word doesn’t even…
Life’s hard. Sometimes you need a bit of inspiration to get you through. I’m not talking about those bullshit inspirational quotes that appear in front of a stock image of…