Everyone is struggling with something. Like the woman in the stall next to me, trying to drop a deuce, grunting and trying to make that poo log hit the bowl.

I was on vacation, having finished a hearty breakfast of watermelon, hot tea, and French toast at a local pancake house. Me being the “regular gal” I am, 20 minutes after that hot tea and food hit my stomach, I had to hit the head.

I managed to pinch a very small loaf into the bowl. Nothing to write home about, despite the fact that I felt there was a lot more in the tank.

Just when I was dissatisfied with my meager turd and lamenting that this pancake house that’s making money hand over fist only stocks their bathroom with single-ply toilet paper, I realized I wasn’t the only person trying to take a dump in the joint. And that this nameless, faceless woman next to me was having a rough go of it, judging by the frustrated grunts coming from the stall

I thought about trying to tried to lighten the mood and joke with my comrade-in-the-commode on the other side. Maybe asking, “Can you believe this one-ply TP shit?!” I mean, it’s not often you encounter ANOTHER person trying to take a smash in the crapper next to you. That there is someone else in the Shit Sisterhood that acknowledges “when ya gotta go, ya gotta GO,” even if it’s in a public restroom.

Excitement aside, there is a certain level of decorum required with these things. Some people find the act of pooping in a public restroom to be a source of shame. (Shocking, right?!) That well-meaning show of solidarity may make that person feel embarrassed about their situation. Particularly if they sound like that BM ain’t coming out of the chute too easily.

I guess it’s a little different in the men’s room. They’re a little more free to joke around. Let’s face it, it’s kind of a crapshoot (literally) to joke around about poop in the ladies’ room. Some women, even if they’re trying to expel a hot one from their rear exit, don’t feel that taking a dump is a laughing matter — even if you’re just trying to help put them at ease. Letting them know that, “You’re gonna be alright, kid. We’ve all been there.” (“There” being sitting on the bowl with the compacted remnants of last night’s dinner refusing to evacuate the premises.”

Despite your good intentions, you need to take a step back and realize that reaching out can make them feel uncomfortable and do more harm than good.

So, I wiped, flushed, washed my hands, and silently wished her well.

Because everyone is struggling.