The Drama and Excitement of Trash Day

Ever since I was a kid, one of my favorite films has been The 'Burbs. It reminded me of the apartment complex where I grew up in Scranton, Pennsylvania, where there were always people moving in and moving out -- and you wondered what their M.O. was. You'd bond with some neighbors and feud with others, but there was always some excitement and drama. I ...

Review: Joaquin Phoenix’s ‘Joker’ – The Hamlet of Villains

Normally, when I write a review, I try to objectively evaluate what was good, bad, plausible, or implausible about a film. I'm hard pressed to find anything to negatively critique about Joker. To say it's a great comic book film doesn't give it enough credit. It's a great film. Period. Joker touched on a variety of societal ills, specifically wealth inequality, lack of quality treatment for ...

Why I’d Rather Be Dutch Ovened By Ernest Borgnine Than Morrissey

Filed under - Rejected Collegiate Essay Topics: In 500 words or more, defend your position as to why you would rather be Dutch Ovened by either Ernest Borgnine or Morrissey. You must pick one or the other and cannot say "neither." Give specific reasoning behind your choice, backed by either qualitative or quantitative evidence. You may also cite personal preference to be Dutch Ovened by one ...

SEPTA Tales: The Unsung Hero of the 66

Yesterday's commute home was packed butts to nuts -- par for the course for a Friday rush hour. Invariably, no matter how crowded the bus may be, there is always that one asshole who insists on taking up two seats -- either by sitting on the outside seat instead of moving in toward the window, or worse yet, putting their bags on one side of ...

2am Thoughts: Keep Pa Beautiful?

When you have insomnia, your mind starts to race and you think back on a lot of things. I guess it's the adult equivalent of trying to tell yourself a bedtime story. Staring at the ceiling last night, I started remembering (for all you young whippersnappers out there) that there was a time when state abbreviations weren’t standardized. There were no neat, clean, two-capital-letter abbreviations. ...

Everyone Is Struggling

Everyone is struggling with something. Like the woman in the stall next to me, trying to drop a deuce, grunting and trying to make that poo log hit the bowl. I was on vacation, having finished a hearty breakfast of watermelon, hot tea, and French toast at a local pancake house. Me being the "regular gal" I am, 20 minutes after that hot tea and food ...

A Walking Tour of My Neuroses

When I was a kid,  every night before bedtime, 7-year-old me would pair my stuffed animals up on the shelves so that they had someone to hang out with for all eternity in case I croaked in my sleep. I didn't want them to be lonely. While I did understand that making sure my Pound Puppies and Pound Purries were provided for in the event of ...

I Saw Netflix’s Motley Crue Biopic “The Dirt” Sober & Don’t Know WTF I Watched

There's nothing more disappointing than taking a bite out of what appears to be a freshly baked brownie and finding out it's really just a fat, steaming turd. Okay, most people (including me) haven't munched on a shit log. But I imagine it's similar to the level of bait-and-switch disappointment of having sat through Netflix's The Dirt, the movie based on Motley Crue's autobiographical tome ...

Captain Marvel: Meh or Marvelous?

The build-up and ballyhoo surrounding Marvel's latest film, Captain Marvel, would lead many a true believer (or non-believer) that the film was either the second-coming of Logan or a politically-correct bastardization of all that comic book fans love. In truth, it was neither. Captain Marvel was one part origin story and one part connective tissue to introduce Carol Danvers to the next installment of Avengers with some context. ...

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Tackles PTSD

Good comedy doesn't just make you laugh. It makes you think. It makes you feel. These days, it's tougher to find comedy that hits those notes. Today's comedy either opts for complete shock value without putting laughter first, spins into overtly political humor, or plays it utterly and safe and boring. These trends and tropes make it that much harder to do something as simple as ...